dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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