K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
