i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize