so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
