areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just gargled with NyQuil
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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