im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
