you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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