can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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