he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
