the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
