Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
