Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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