things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
