If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
