I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
