Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
