I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
do herpes really smell.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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