I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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