I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
