Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
