I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
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He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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