I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
