remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
