If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
this hospital has no fireball
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
