forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
