did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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