Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
