great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
