I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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