brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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