Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
