it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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