i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize