My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize