More tranny stories later!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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