Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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