I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
farters have to be the big spoon...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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