I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize