I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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