Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
