tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
