Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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