If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
