and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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