You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
