I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
