You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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