I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
