That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
