The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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