I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
