what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How does it feel to date your dad?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
