return my video game
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
