We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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