laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
