I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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