For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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