I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
