we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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