Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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