Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
