I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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