why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
