I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The beer is more important than you right now.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
