just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
